I Choose Me!

And so it begins musers.... another New Year. 365 days of choices, lessons, experiences, laughter, tears, anger, happiness and all round life enhancing experiences.

For some that means resolutions and for some it means change.

For some it means ignoring the sentiment of the change in the season, the beginning of something new, and burying their head in the sand rather than looking inward and making positive change in their life.

For a few lucky souls, they will be completely happy and content with their lives where they are and will continue to move forward, one day at a time as they always have done, living their best lives like my little naked Kendal man. (Those of you who know, know. Those of you who don't, that is definitely a story for another time!)

For me, its a huge time for change, although this past 18-24 months has already seen huge changes in the way I live, the people I allow around me and the things that I choose to do.

I have experienced huge amounts of pain, made decisions that were terrifying to me and began a whole new way of living, but in doing so, I have found unbelievable strength and courage that I never realised was there.

I have dug deep and faced many demons - there are still more to face but in doing that, I have realised some very important truths.

I am completely unique. I am stronger than I ever thought possible. I am worth so much more than I ever allowed myself to hope for.

I am courageous and fearless and if I take those steps into the unknown, the possibilities are endless.

For the first time in my life, I began to choose me, and in doing so, I have begun to discover and live MY truth and be the person I never really believed I could be.

Strength doesn't come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn't.

Nothing is impossible - you just have to believe that you can do it.

I have this pinned to the bottom of my desktop screen at home. Its my reminder that nothing is impossible. There is always a way. Sometimes you can't see it but if you step back, allow yourself to rest and take the time to breathe, you will find a way.

Tenacity and persistence, even when the world seems at its darkest will always help you through.

I was lucky to have people around me that supported me and loved me when I began my journey. I should probably apologise to them all because I was, as my mum likes to say, an absolute rotter.

I was in a bad place and I couldn't see a way out but those people gave me strength. They lifted me up when I didn't have the strength to do it myself and they believed in me, and thats where it begins.

The rest musers, you have to do on your own.

This is a soul journey. Its incredibly personal and its something that only you can experience but my goodness, its worth every day, every moment, every second.

You are stripping back the world, removing the material connections and turning inward to the spiritual ones. You are learning to connect with the you that you really are, rather than the you that the world wants you to be.

This journey is one of discovery, pain, love, fear, strength, acceptance, endurance, spirituality and learning the fundamental lessons - one of the most important of which is choice.

You choose your life.

Everything you do is a choice. Even the things that you feel you don't choose, you do.

Now read that again. Read it a second time if you need to but take it in.

Every step you have taken, YOU chose, and that can be an incredibly hard truth to accept.

I know this intimately and I would say this was probably, and still is probably the hardest lesson to learn. I struggle with this one regularly.

We are responsible for the life we have chosen. We are responsible for it all and making the choice to change it is hard. We are naturally inclined to blame everyone and everything else for where we are in our lives, but my friends, it doesn't work like that.

I can say this as a woman who spent many years in a relationship that was emotionally and physically abusive.

I chose to stay. It didn't feel like a choice at the time but the reality is, it was.

But, and this is very important, I also chose to leave.

That was where I began to choose me. Its been a long process but an important one because that was the point at which I began to believe in my value as a unique, beautiful and wonderful human being.

Just a word to the wise though, these are lessons you will be learning for your whole life.

My journey is a lifelong journey and for those of you who choose to step onto this ride, its a huge commitment but it is truly worth it.

You will find yourself in a way you never have before. You will begin to shed the world and grow in a way you never thought you could.

It can be a lonely journey when you first begin it, but actually, being solitary allows you to be quiet.

It allows you to listen to the whispers of the universe.

It allows you to connect with your soul and understand your heart in a way that you never thought was possible.

It teaches you to love both your darkness and your light because both are an integral part of who you are.

It shows you that you are not flesh and bone but in fact, you are eternal.

You my friends, are a lifeforce that was born in the last breaths of a dying star and whose energy will continue to be part of the stars long after your physical body is gone.

It teaches you that value doesn't lie in material possessions but in what you bring to the people around you. It lies in the love, empathy and strength that you offer to others and most importantly - yourself.

It teaches you the divine importance and beauty of self and of self care.

You are a child of the stars, completely unique in your makeup. Only you can bring your magic to the world and believe me when I say, the world needs your magic more than ever now, but to be able to bring that unique magic to those around you, you need to look after you.

Self care takes you to a point where you not only learn to choose yourself and only surround yourself with energies that raise your vibrations, but it makes you the best person you can be for your tribe which is paramount.

Physical life is so short and you are solely responsible for your choices and where they take you.

Choose wisely my friends because there is so little time to experience all the wonder of a physical existence in this lifetime.

Be that person who looks back during their final hours of this life fondly.

Be the person who smiles at the memories they shared, that laughs at the experiences they had with others and that loves inspite of the losses they experienced.

Be you - wholeheartedly and unapologetically because you are beautiful, you are strong and you are so worthy.

I have to be honest, this blog took a totally different turn to what I was originally going to write about but I believe there is a reason for that.

Maybe I needed to share it.

Maybe you needed to hear it - I don't know.

What I do know is that my journey has to taught me to trust my instinct, follow my heart and share whats important with the people who are important to me.

Just in case you're wondering - thats you!

Choose you.

Choose you because its the right thing to do. Choose you because you deserve to be happy. Choose you because if you are at your best, your vibrations radiate to the people around you and can be lifechanging.

You are quite literally a heavenly creation - the building blocks taken from a dying star. Don't ever forget that.

Until next time............