Dads - Ignoring Directions Since 3200 BCE!

A Love Letter For The First Man In My Life

Its fathers day again and just like every other year, that means Sunday dinner as a family, cards and the obligatory worlds greatest dad mug. Its lovely to be able to celebrate someone you love on more than just their birthday, and recognising the huge role that dad's play is so important.

My dad was my first example of a man and he taught me an awful lot.

We didn't have a lot growing up. Money was tight and we were the family with the hand me down clothes and second hand toys, but that didn't really matter. What mattered was the time and love that was openly shared by both my parents.

My dad was strict. I was the firstborn so he was learning everything with me, and I am not ashamed to say that I could be a bit of a handful!

I know, its hard to believe, but yes, I definitely had my moments, and he dealt with everyone of them. Sometimes he got it right, other times, not so much but he always tried to handle my naughtiness with love, and thats as much as you can ask.

Having become a parent myself, I truly understand just how difficult it actually is now.

Nobody gives you a handbook or teaches you how to do it. You just have to figure it out as you go, and hope that in amongst those moments, you are getting it right more than you are getting it wrong.

I was blessed with a man in my life who may not have always got it right, but he loved me and my brother and sisters fiercely, and he showed us love unconditionally, even when we were ripping him to shreds.

My dad was the first man to teach me that life was all about lessons and actually, if you listened quietly to the world whispering, the lessons were endless.

Learning never needed to end. If you chose to, every thing that you experienced could be an opportunity for growth but you had to be willing to accept it, understand it and take responsibility for it. The changes that realisation created within you could develop you exponentionlly.

Life would and should never be stagnant. Its never been about the destination and has always been about the journey. The journey is in fact the destination because the journey is where true growth, self development and truth lie.

My dad made me look at the world in a different way. He made me see what was going on outside of my own space.

I'm sure we have all heard our parents tell us that we don't know what starving is when we have complained about being hungry. I know it was something I said a couple of times to my kids because in reality, we don't.

As my dad used to tell me, we may not have everything, but being born in the UK makes us luckier than the majority of the people around the world. But for an accident at birth, we could have been born in Africa or India, born into slavery or extreme poverty.

He made sure I was aware of what went on around the world, and that I understood that not everyone had the luxury of the life that we had.

We had a clean and comfortable home, food in the cupboards, fresh running water, toys, electricity, clothing, shoes, education, friends.... the list goes on.

Being reminded of where we were and what we had grew with me, leaving me with a burning need to understand what goes on around the world. To stand up and protest against things that I believe are wrong and to always, always stand by my truth, no matter how much everyone else stands against me.

He taught me that money will never buy happiness and that what really mattered was right in front of me.

We may not have had much but we were and still are some of the richest people in the world.

My dad taught me that life was for living. That the master will fail over and over but he will continue to get back up and keep going because that is what life is about.

He taught me that your failures are only failures if you don't use them to learn about yourself and that if you keep trying, keep believing and keep going, you will get to where you want to be.

He was all about self improvement and taking responsibility for who we were.

Those lessons took a little more to learn, not because I didn't get them but because I didn't want to have to admit that I was responsible for the negative choices I had made.

Once I embraced my truth however, I started to grow in a way I had never considered possible.

My dad taught me about love. My mum was, and still is the centre of his world.

She was the girl he took home to marry, and throughout every moment of their 40 something years together, no matter what they have endured, he still looks at her like a man who just found his princess.

He still holds her hand and gives her kisses.

When he talks about their marriage, he talks with such genuine feeling and adoration and its hard not to get emotional.

They have gone through tough times, but always, no matter what, they have found their way back to each other and the love that started so long ago just continues to deepen.

They truly are two halves of one whole, and their example of marriage and his example of love has become the cornerstone of everything that I believe in.

My dad took me on my first date. I was 16 years old at the time and he wanted me to know how I should be treated. He opened the car door for me as I got in and drove me to a greek restaurant in Newcastle. The restaurant is still there and still makes me smile every time I walk past it but I have never been back. I don't want to risk anything tainting that most precious moment with him.

We ate dinner that night with no time frame attached, and he chatted to me, showing an interest in what was going on in my life, and asking questions.

The whole time we were there, I felt llike the most important person in the room. It was a truly wonderful experience and one that I will never forget.

I may not have always demanded it, and its bitten me in the ass when I haven't, but what he did that night was teach me that I deserved to be treated with love and respect, and that anyone who was unprepared to do that, didn't deserve to be in my life.

My dad is the biggest man in my life.

We thought we were going to lose him not so long ago after he suffered a stroke, and the realisation that he wouldn't be here forever was devastating.

He is doing okay, but the reality hit that none of us really know how long the people we love will be with us. Age is unimportant as anything can take someone away with no warning at all.

Its imperative for us to tell the people we love every single day how much they mean to us.

It shouldn't take a day once a year to do that, although lets be honest musers, it is a bloody, good excuse for cake!

My dad is my hero. He is the man who taught me how to love and respect the people around me. He taught me how to live my truth no matter how much it goes against the grain.

He is the man who had my back no matter what. Even when he didn't agree, he was still there.

He is the man who loves my mother with a quiet beauty, elegant, respectful and with absolute certainty that they will be together throughout the eternities, and in doing so, he taught me how I wanted to be loved and how I deserve to be loved.

This a shout out to my dad. Without you I would not be who I am today. Happy Fathers Day. You have been and continue to be amazing!

I love you xx